Saturday, July 28, 2007

Boozed and confused

Wew...we went to Hangar One, an artisan distillery on the old Alameda NAS--yes, the one from Mythbusters. Cool building, great fruit and herb vodkas, but the $10 17 variety tasting flight kicked all three of us on our asses. Imagine 4 shots in the middle of the day.

Best vodka ever: Chipotle
Best liqueur: Smoked Tea and Orange
Best aqua vita: Thai Basi (I even bought a bottle for my parents' christmas present)

Monday, July 23, 2007

Florence y'all

OK, Lake Florence, but it's almost as far off the map as Florence, SC. And about 8000 feet higher.

It's at the end of a 35 mile one lane, curvy road. And in this case, one lane means there is a 1000 foot drop on the one side.

Anyway, the landscape up there is absolutely amazing, you can see from the Kern Range and Sierra Crest almost all the way to Mt. Whitney.

Unfortunately, I couldn't take any pictures of the black bear that tried to get into the food locker Sunday night.

More pictures of Lake Florence and Kings Canyon are over here

By the way, if you ever want to stand in a place with a 800 foot drop on either side, I can totally recommend Moro Rock in Sequoia NP 

Monday, July 16, 2007

Great Reality TV

My favorite Victoria quotes:

As soon as I walked in, I didn't know if I should laugh, cry, pass out, or get on the next plane home.

At this point I knew there was only one thing to do. Get more drunk.

I find shopping quite therapeutic. As ridiculous as that sounds.

I've never seen anything like it. Maybe this is normal American behavior.

Shoes can make you feel so good.

In England we have no idea what an earthquake is.

Duck, scream and hold? Can you seen my knickers?

Duck hold on shelter whatever. You just think BLEEEP.

Aren't houses normally build from the ground up? (Actually, she totally deflated the real estate guy)

Ugh, it's exhausting being fabulous.

I love that Spiderman lives down the road.

So I'm gonna go to a sex shop, buy an inflatable doll, dress her up like me...she looks quite startled.

I don't know much about baseball. They wear tight trousers...and one of the guys wears a mask like we saw in the sex shop.

It looks like someone with no taste just came in and thrown up everywhere.

Eddie Murphy, Beverly Hills D**k.

I'm not keen on the glove, I think someone might have sweated into it. (at a little league game)

But now I'm getting my trainers dirty. (In Dodgers Stadium)

I think everyone it just thinking "You Stupid Tart"!

I did feel that one of my silicones was gonna fly out my armpit then.


On the bright side, she totally got back at the CA DMV for me.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

AP's Stonehenge Moment

(07-15) 19:40 PDT TOKYO, Japan (AP) --
A strong earthquake jolted northwestern Japan on Monday morning and caused buildings in the capital Tokyo to sway. The Meteorological Agency said small tsunamis as high as 20 inches were believed to have hit coasts in the area.

Best food ever

So after schlepping through the Chron endorsed "up and coming" Western Addition (they have a long way to go to reach ground level along Divisadero and the Chron editor should be fired), I made my way back to the Boulagerie at Cali and Fillmore to get enough Croissant pudding to get me through the week.

It's basically bread pudding made from leftover croissants and tons of eggs, butter, and cream. Very dense, about eleventy billion calories per slice, but OH SO GOOD. I behaved myself and only ate one before even reaching the corner. If any bakery has it where you live; run, don't walk and get some.

Death and mortality

Well, the first thought of the day was "I am dying". Partly a bit of a hangover, but mostly that I was peeing a dark red liquid. I didn't panic and call 911, but very calmly--thinking about Dengue Fever, kidney cancer, and other assorted illnesses--went to my computer, googled the Muir Medical Center and called to set up a inevitable doctors' visit. Maybe a MRI. Of course the lines were busy, so I went to the kitchen to clean a bit and make coffee (typical displacement behavior). About halfway through, I put back the annatto seeds I used for the chicken marinade yesterday, quickly hung up the phone, thanked various deities that JMMC does not use caller ID on non-emergency calls, and added a huge shot of whiskey to the coffee mug.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Dorkus Californicus: An Explorers Diary

On Friday, the 29th of June in the year of the lord 2007, a few friends and I went on an expedition to observe the Common West Coast Dork (dorkus califonicus) in it's natural habitat.

17:45 -- The 4 hour managers meeting finally ends. I drop my laptop on my desk, grab my cell phone and jog over to the parking garage, calling my co-explorers on the way over to reconfirm the meeting point

17:54 -- After a short, but harrowing trip down I-680, a 5 lane exit swoop, and two traffic lights, I park at the old Andronico's garage and power walk the one block down to B&N, the well known purveyors of crappy books.

17:55 -- The first dorkus come within sight.

17:56 -- We meet up and set up our main blind outside California Pizza Kitchen across the street from the dorkus' feeding grounds. Drea has devastating news: Prima is full, so we frantically send out an expedition to secure a table at Va de Vi around the corner.

17:58 -- We settle down, break out the lattes and start observing the about 250 dorks who have lined up so far. Much to my surprise, only about half of the assembled specimens were the expected dorkus geekus, dorkus basementdwellerus, and dorkus hipsterus. In addition to a strong showing of dorka mallrattia and materna soccera, there are many normal looking people.
17:59 -- Closer to the source, dorkus dorkus takes over, though, easily recognizable by his plummage

And by white on blue territorial markers.

17:59:30 -- Intrepid ABC journos are also out in full force. From the look on the reporter's face, she'd very much prefer Falludja right now.

18:00 -- A collective sigh followed by hollering and clapping as THE SOURCE opens.
18:01 -- The first dorkus has captured it's prey and performs a wild dance to the whistling and clapping of the entire line before he is set upon by ABC 7's local interest reporter. (I think that job would make me kill myself). While she gushes into the camera, ABC cable guy 50 feet back is overheard cussing about 'fucking idiots, waste of time, and why can't they release this BEFORE the weekend.
18:10 -- The hunt is now in full swing: every 30-40 seconds, a new dorkus catches its prey, the line keeps hollering and high five-ing every time another dorkus leaves. It slowly gets boring, so we repair to Va to an expedition dinner.
8:10 -- One frisee salad and dungeness crab pot pie later, we walk back past the feeding ground. The line is still evident, but shorter now. Nobody from the first pride still seems to be in line, so at least $120,000 have been regurgitated.
8:11 -- We stumble across one of many dorkus debris piles

8:15 -- On the way back to my car, I spot a rare dorkus moorus with trademark Crocs. No line here.